worsetodie

Within my first month here I had my brains turned to splatter. Last week at a pool party I got to sit down and talk to the warden who had done it. He's a nice guy. Weird, I guess, but nice. It was a breach. No hard feelings, right? This crap happens.

Think about that for five seconds, okay? I know it's hard, tiny head and all.... I sat down with a guy who had been entrusted with my life, who had shot me in the head. Don't know about you, but that was pretty big of me, to not, you know, drown him. But crazy revenge schemes aren't really my thing. Anyway...

As for our friend here-- sorry, but I agree with him. You can't each run your individual private redemption kingdoms here and hope we're going to trust you with our lives, knowing that at the core of it: you're going to profit on everything we endure, and you think we're just gonna sit back and be okay with that? Ollo! I don't care how small your head is. You have to be smarter than that!

I trust Kay. [ THERE HE FUCKING SAID IT. ] I've -- been mad at him and sometimes I don't know that he gets me, but I trust him because he's always been straight forward to me, and explained everything he does.

You guys-- all of you wardens-- could learn from what he does. I mean, even with lab access I coulda taken over the barge at least twice by now if I felt up to it. But I haven't... because I know what he's doing, and why, and how it can line up with my own interests.

Something I don't think a lot of you even vaguely manage to do... or maybe we wouldn't have crazy stabby--

WHO IS crazy stabby inmate? [ There's a pause, and he goes to look up the big reveal and... ]

Toto? Who is named Toto and claim to be legitimately evil. That was a dog! A scottie dog! Scottie dogs aren'te evil!

I always think that's 'alf the point, sweetheart; none of it takes, an' even the batshit 'ard nuts start lookin' for murder alternatives after a bit. Kay's a good bloke, I'd trust 'im an' all. An' I do listen to 'im. But don't tell me to start bein' like 'im, 'cause that's not 'appening in any lifetime.

[She's suddenly very tired, or more accurately, she's been tired all along; just the adrenaline spike of anger's wearing off now.]

We're all just doin' our bloody best 'ere. It gets me brassed off when all someone can do is pick fault.

You know this guy I empowered to become a superhero-- not a villain, a hero-- the things he whined about right before he turned me to paste were that good was a bunch of hard work and he'd only taken the job to get the girl. But it wasn't going to get him the exact thing he wanted, so he quit and went bad.

So if you can't take a guy seeing where your system falls apart... [ He shrugs, and says. ] I got a dog to walk. You got recovery time. Make use of it. Put your feet up, rest, all that-- and think, huh?

[ He's mollified some, but -- he's not giving in, either. It's as diplomatic an ending as Megamind can give, which is saying something that he tried at all. ]

All systems fall apart, lovey; what brasses me off is bein' blamed for it by a bloke without word one in the way of actual constructive ideas to sort it. That'd be more in your line, I reckon.

Yeah, and when I gave my ideas? I got told it'd too hard to expect wardens to work together to implement them.

[ So he knows how that goes. ]

Maybe he's just tired of seeing things suggested and the response being "sorry, it's too hard".

I'm not 'alf looking forward to seein' you on this side of the fence, love.

Problem is it doesn't look any better than this side, half the time.

[ He doesn't know what else to think; it's almost like a backhanded compliment, though he knows Iris doesn't mean it that way. ]

You just get better benefits.

[She kind of does.]

Not in a week like this it don't, no. Someone's got to give it a go, though.

Yeah, well -- good is hard work and you don't always get the girl.

-6-

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